Pirate without a ship/Ninja without an electric guitar

You are like a hand towel; you aren’t a wash cloth and you aren’t a bath towel.  You’re the ultimate tweener but not in a good way.  You try to play both sides of the eternal battle between ninja and pirate and it will only end with you being marooned while disemboweling yourself.  Now go out and either go to Ninja College (they have scholarships)or hold up a cruise ship!